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Old Essays
And here we have a collection of essays I did on Slick during his time in Sabra. Mostly to help me refresh my own memory. I added a few comments on these essays as well, because a lot of it has changed or is interesting in retrospect. I should probably do a proper essay on Slick as he is now to get things up to speed. As embarrassing as the amount of words I dump into this boy are, it sure is helpful when you need to canon review your own rp history!
Early Game SOTU - Basically just concerning Slick's reasons for joining Ophiuchus and feelings on the subject.
War Game Essay - This is follow up for a game in which teams were allowed to choose to protect one team and couldn't protect themselves. The obvious 'winning strategy' was for every team to protect their partner team, but several teams failed, and one such incident resulted in Lacerta (the team that EVERYONE loved and everyone assumed would be protected) getting squashed. Slick did not actually participate but watched the whole thing.
Slick vs Ticky Essay - Some fairly early speculation on Slick's future and some explanation of the ways Slick is different from Ticky. The part about Slick never reidentifying with Ticky doesn't apply anymore. He ultimately did come to accept himself (in a kind of crazy way) and when he got back ALL of his memories he completely accepted being Ticky (both pre- and post- Noah). He still chose to not continue on to the Noah lifestyle though. Notably a lot of the things in the 'what changed' section has evened out. I want to do another one of these and probably will soon since I am apparently on a Slick high. This is also one of my more coherent essays if you are only looking to read shit you can actually follow.
Post Heart Game Essay - Some thoughts on how Slick felt about the heart game and explanation about the design of the game. I didn't get to EVERYTHING because his heart is huge. And I never did run a second heart game so maybe I will do that in Thusia one day.
Early GM Game Essay - Interesting things about this one is that I note the start of Slick's tendency toward being more affectionate and touchy, which was apparently the result of A) Allen getting Surgoened and being really needy and B) River. Being. ..himself. This is also the fall out from day 64, the first day of GM's game where has to kill Squall, which is the first time in Sabra he had to kill.
Late GM Game Essay - A few days after that last essay, the end of the GM game. In the last essay and this one is the start of Slick trying to reconcile HOW DOES I KILLER. In canon he has a very specific life and set up and. well. 'ritual' to it. Which is to say he wears black skin and fancy clothes and talks likes a lordling and he stays cool and prim even while being pretty psycho. Not because those things are 'him' but because that's sort of his 'work clothes' and just like you don't go to the office in sweats you don't go to a murder in your usual whatever. Notably, this didn't last, and after a while of TRYING to sort of fit his black life into his existence in Sabra he gives up on it, and it's one more step toward him merging the two.
Also, interestingly, where he and Allen break up because Slick had a sadistic psycho fit at Watanuki and didn't see a problem with that. Except here I say SLICK IS OKAY but I seem to recall him being not okay at all, so that was probably while he was just rebounding hard and taking the I AM FINE route. Also overall in that place of depression where he is still functional but has lost expectations of pleasure and is telling himself that is fine, but before the point where weighs on him enough to drive him into misery.
Slick and Happiness - PSYCHOBABBLE as I talk about Ticky's quest for happiness as inspired by my psych texts. Mostly is a rambling way of talking about how Ticky's Noah acted to give him the same sense of satisfaction from killing people as you might get from 'true happiness' which leads to him being pretty fucking crazy, but also explains why he couldn't choose between his white and black lives.
Sanity Break Sanity Break - Talking about how being miserable for a while leads to Slick finding a way to justify breaking part of himself and going crazy again and generally being self destructive. Is sort of a 'shallow' look at it, since in retrospect: A) I think he was depressed much longer than just since GM's game, and B) the reasons I list for him going after Allen are not exactly correct. It is probably what Slick TOLD himself, but "I am sick of being miserable I want to feel good again and to do that I need to be crazy again so I think I will attack my boyfriend who I am cranky at for an insanity boost" is probably more true.
Early Game SOTU - Basically just concerning Slick's reasons for joining Ophiuchus and feelings on the subject.
War Game Essay - This is follow up for a game in which teams were allowed to choose to protect one team and couldn't protect themselves. The obvious 'winning strategy' was for every team to protect their partner team, but several teams failed, and one such incident resulted in Lacerta (the team that EVERYONE loved and everyone assumed would be protected) getting squashed. Slick did not actually participate but watched the whole thing.
Slick vs Ticky Essay - Some fairly early speculation on Slick's future and some explanation of the ways Slick is different from Ticky. The part about Slick never reidentifying with Ticky doesn't apply anymore. He ultimately did come to accept himself (in a kind of crazy way) and when he got back ALL of his memories he completely accepted being Ticky (both pre- and post- Noah). He still chose to not continue on to the Noah lifestyle though. Notably a lot of the things in the 'what changed' section has evened out. I want to do another one of these and probably will soon since I am apparently on a Slick high. This is also one of my more coherent essays if you are only looking to read shit you can actually follow.
Post Heart Game Essay - Some thoughts on how Slick felt about the heart game and explanation about the design of the game. I didn't get to EVERYTHING because his heart is huge. And I never did run a second heart game so maybe I will do that in Thusia one day.
Early GM Game Essay - Interesting things about this one is that I note the start of Slick's tendency toward being more affectionate and touchy, which was apparently the result of A) Allen getting Surgoened and being really needy and B) River. Being. ..himself. This is also the fall out from day 64, the first day of GM's game where has to kill Squall, which is the first time in Sabra he had to kill.
Late GM Game Essay - A few days after that last essay, the end of the GM game. In the last essay and this one is the start of Slick trying to reconcile HOW DOES I KILLER. In canon he has a very specific life and set up and. well. 'ritual' to it. Which is to say he wears black skin and fancy clothes and talks likes a lordling and he stays cool and prim even while being pretty psycho. Not because those things are 'him' but because that's sort of his 'work clothes' and just like you don't go to the office in sweats you don't go to a murder in your usual whatever. Notably, this didn't last, and after a while of TRYING to sort of fit his black life into his existence in Sabra he gives up on it, and it's one more step toward him merging the two.
Also, interestingly, where he and Allen break up because Slick had a sadistic psycho fit at Watanuki and didn't see a problem with that. Except here I say SLICK IS OKAY but I seem to recall him being not okay at all, so that was probably while he was just rebounding hard and taking the I AM FINE route. Also overall in that place of depression where he is still functional but has lost expectations of pleasure and is telling himself that is fine, but before the point where weighs on him enough to drive him into misery.
Slick and Happiness - PSYCHOBABBLE as I talk about Ticky's quest for happiness as inspired by my psych texts. Mostly is a rambling way of talking about how Ticky's Noah acted to give him the same sense of satisfaction from killing people as you might get from 'true happiness' which leads to him being pretty fucking crazy, but also explains why he couldn't choose between his white and black lives.
Sanity Break Sanity Break - Talking about how being miserable for a while leads to Slick finding a way to justify breaking part of himself and going crazy again and generally being self destructive. Is sort of a 'shallow' look at it, since in retrospect: A) I think he was depressed much longer than just since GM's game, and B) the reasons I list for him going after Allen are not exactly correct. It is probably what Slick TOLD himself, but "I am sick of being miserable I want to feel good again and to do that I need to be crazy again so I think I will attack my boyfriend who I am cranky at for an insanity boost" is probably more true.